Saturday, September 15, 2007

Arguing Over Underwear

I haven’t started eating right yet. I'm saturated with chocolate cake and didn’t even feel like eating the stuff, but I ate 3 servings anyways, afraid that it would go bad and be a waste. What is wrong with me?

Ly and I had a “discussion” about it that flirted towards argument, but I kept it together. I heard him point out my character flaws and fought off defensiveness like I was hitting tennis balls against an opponent out to get me. Then we entered the mall and passed by the lingerie shop where I had bought sexy lingerie the other day (which I have never done in my life). I’m not sure if I should be buying any lingerie at all, seeing as how I will only gain the weight back and be unable to wear it. Never the less, Ly was so happy that I had done it that I guessed he wanted to prolong the experience and look around. He pointed out a garment he liked and I was ready to exchange the one I bought for that one, but he wanted both. I couldn’t understand the logic. The whole reason, I bought lingerie was because I wanted to have sex without becoming totally naked and hide my obvious imperfections. One very expensive garment that only one person will see would do quiet fine. But the reason he thinks I bought it was to add variety in the bedroom. Our personalities clashed yet again, and we got ourselves into an argument. Normally, I wouldn't be so bothered, but after our recent “discussion” I just fell into despair, wondering if Ly regretted ever marrying me.


Half Man said...

Men's and women's brains just aren't wired the same. It can make life a real pain in the @#$$! I get it wrong all the time myself. When I think I am supposed to motivate, I should've sympathized. When I think I should sympathize, I should've done some work around the house. When I think I should do work around the house, I should've been motivating. I never think I shouldn't have married my wife. But I do think life would be boring if we could figure each other out. :-)

TrixieBelden said...

I am so sorry you are feeling down. I wish there was something I could write to make you feel better. My best suggestion is to keep writing about how you are feeling. Put it out there so that you don't carry it with you.

Lorrie (Token Fat Girl) said...

You should definantly buy lingerie! Especially if you feel sexy in it. Flaws or not, I'm sure Ly finds you beautiful in your new lingerie.

I agree with trixiebelden. I've started doing about 2-3 pages of random thought writing (typing) every morning and it really clears my head and puts things in perspective.

PS: you are not going to gain the weight back. You have done such a good job the cake is just apart of life.

pps: thank you for all of your encouraging comments on my blog lately, they truly mean a lot to me and have helped me get back on track. thank you so much.

Salma Gundi said...

I don't want to intrude on your marriage, but a lot of what you write about is Ly pointing out your flaws.

I have to ask - do you ever point out his to him?

My husband thinks that I'm as excited about the lingerie as he is. I have yet to be able to explain to him that comfy pants are much more exciting, and that's why when I find a good pair of those, I buy them in multiples.

Lily T said...

Half Man - I know what you mean about men and women being wired differently, and to be honest I apprechiate the differences more than I dislike it. It's just hard to apprechiate it while in the midst of an argument.

Trixie and Lorrie - Thank you for your support. Writing does help.

Lorrie - I'm glad that my comments have helped you. Your comments help me also.

Salma - I'm actually not an outwardly critical person and actually praise Ly TOO much, which is not good when he already has high self-confidence and too much praise gets him arrogant. So while Ly is trying to criticize me less, I’m trying to praise him less. In actuality, I’m trying to criticize him MORE. He loves it, because he wants to know what he should work on, and being so self-confident, he has trouble identifying what. However, I’m afraid that most of my criticism occurs when I am utterly hurt my HIS criticism of me, and I say them as more of a retaliation because I want him to also feel hurt. What happens is that the criticisms I offer at these times are not constructive and the flaws I point out are actually insignificant and not worth mentioning.

Natalie said...

Hallo Lily,

Sorry to hear you're feeling down... but remember, you've come so very far, safely and sensibly - you're not going to put it all back on. You're doing wonderful - and everyone has their little 'chocolate cake' moments (though mine more often than not involve cheese... because that's my vice!).

And don't worry about what Ly thinks. I'm sure he things you're wonderfully sexy. But better than that, think of how far you've come, and try and feel sexy in yourself while wearing it. Buy something pretty just for you, even if no-one else ever sees it.

If it makes you feel good, it will have been worth every penny!

Nat x

I fear no one’s opinion! I am knowledgeable, focused, and efficient. I make this priority and build from experience. I do this for my children and myself. Supported by love, I will persevere.