Friday, November 30, 2007
My Motivational Weight Loss Story
This is my weight loss story minus all the boring stuff and focusing on what would motivate a reader. I had planned to send it to a contest but decided it wasn’t for me.
When I was younger I was energetic and enjoyed climbing and running. My energy was legendary, and my relatives continue to speak of it to this day. I remember after a day of endless play was coming to a close, I would sit on the top of the monkey bars and pretend I was on top of the world as the sunset signaled my time to go home. Even as I grew older, I enjoyed playing with children because it was a chance for me to become a child once again. Ironically, when I had my own children I was so heavy and sluggish that I no longer felt free when I played. I no longer had the urge TO play.
Throughout my young life, I was always of normal weight. Every once in a while, media bombardment and “friends” would make me feel fat, causing me to embark on an unnecessary weight loss endeavor, which always ended as my mood changed.
It was only after I married did I REALLY needed to lose weight. I was under the most stress that I’ve ever experience up to that point, causing me to eat uncontrollably. I gained weight and exceeded my husband's weight. I didn’t like being “bigger” than him, and I had wanted to reach a healthy weight so that we can have a baby. Unfortunately, wishful thinking doesn’t constitute as a weight loss plan and my weight stayed elevated. We grew impatient and decided to have a baby anyway. However, during my first pregnancy I ate terribly. At work, I had access to free chips and candy, which I frequented. Also I believed that smaller frequent meals were ideal for the baby. Unfortunately, I was never able to accomplish keeping my meals small, so they were just frequent and regular sized. My weight skyrocketed. After I gave birth and the edema wore off from the epidermal, I weighed 170 pounds. On my small 5’2” frame that kind of weight takes a toll. I developed foot problems, acid reflux, and sleeping problems. I felt depressed due to the anxiety from being a working mom for the first time, and nothing seemed to help except to work some more, hoping that I can catch up enough to finally relax. Inevitably, my reserves would run out and I found myself listless in front of the TV with a high-calorie snack. This whole time I knew I had a weight problem, and I attempted to tackle it through a series of false starts until life overwhelmed me and priorities change once again.
Then one evening, my husband confronted me with concern about my health. Normally this type of confrontation would have me running out of the room in tears, but this time was different. I found the courage to stay, and we talked. We talked all night. I told him of all my obstacles. Normally he would say that I was making excuses, but that evening (more like early morning by that point) he gave me permission to put my health as my first priority.
I know that some of you may be outraged that he was presumptuous enough to give me permission, but that was exactly what I needed, because I was unable to give myself permission.
I did it little by little. I started with developing a moderate exercise routine, and then I worked on developing a healthy diet. The weight would fall and stall and even go up a little. Every once in a while, I had to remind myself of what I promised that faithful night. That I was going to put my health first. Throughout the process, my anxiety and depression decreased. I started to feel optimistic that I can lose and keep the weight off. Most of all, I started to feel energetic again. Today I weigh 120 pounds. 5 pounds until I reach my target, but it hardly seems to matter anymore. I’m lighter, healthier, and happier.
I play with my children now, and we like to go to the park. There was one day when my 4-year-old son had me chase after him, and we ran and climbed all over that park like crazy. There was a moment, when I ran and scrambled up the jungle gym after him. He squealed with delight and made for the slide. I paused and looked around me. Below were mothers of other children, watching quietly, and I remembered being one of them, not too long ago. Not because I was uninterested, but because I was too tired. I stood there looking into my past and in awe of my moment, and I knew I made it to the life I wanted. My reverie broke because I saw that the sun was setting and there was more play needing to be done before we had to go home.
I fear no one’s opinion! I am knowledgeable, focused, and efficient. I make this priority and build from experience. I do this for my children and myself. Supported by love, I will persevere.