Monday, July 16, 2007

“Less” of a Mother

There’s this wonderful pre-K program that First 5 is providing, and Hunter was invited to use it! Along with Hunter attending a preschool-like setting, there are two parenting classes. I went to the first one and it was very lame, targeting overly burdened or traumatized mothers whom failed to develop an attachment to their children. And from what I noticed none of the mothers whom attended qualified. I would have to say that they were at the opposite of the spectrum, towards super mom qualities. They were all low income and a majority of them were monolingual Spanish speakers, but in terms of parenting skills they needed no help, especially from a riff-raff social worker set on pushing her values. Ugh! If I ever become like her, consider me resigned!

I don’t think I will be attending the second class, but I don’t regret attending the first. It was wonderful meeting such dedicated mothers! What other mother would take the time to attend a lame class as that when they already have the skills anyways?

But I also noticed another thing. I was the thinnest mother in the room! You would think I would be oozing with pride because of this, but in actuality I felt tremendously self-conscious and ashamed. Because the typical and most shared reason that a mother is fat is because she has prioritizing her family over herself. I suddenly felt less of a mother, and guilty of the time that I didn’t devote to them.

6 comments:

Marshmallow said...

Nooooooooo nothing of the sort, LilyT! You are in no way less of a mother compared to the other women in the room. Because you are shaping yourself into a better, healthier all-round you, that will trickle down onto your children. Just being a better you is a fantastic example for your children.

Anonymous said...

Umm, no it doesn't. There is probably no correlation between how good a mother is, and her size, extremes either size excepted. If a womans weight doubles, does her mothering skills double as well? Don't think so.

You should be proud of your achievement. As Marshmallow said, you are telling your children to eat healthier and provide yourself as a role model for them. Be proud of that.

Anonymous said...

One other thing, as your probably know low income means more likelihood of increased size.

Lily T said...

Ha ha! I know THAT! I just get illogical thoughts every once in a while. When motivation gets low, illogical thoughts rule the day. And I was hoping to dispel them by airing them out.

Token Fat Girl said...

Lily, taking care of yourself is the best gift that you can give to yourself and most importantly your children, now and in the long run. You are teaching them how to care about their health.The best part is you are healthier to take better care of them.
I think the opposite of what you said is true.
You have done a wonderful job, don't feel guilty for that!
PS: I wish my mom had/would take better care of her health. She is turning 50 now and i really worry about this and having her around to see my grandkids.

Living to Feel Good said...

OMG that is so silly. I would say it makes you more of a mother because the fact that you care and do something about your health means you make your life a longer one to enjoy with your family. I really think you can find a balance. At least I hope. I shouldn't say that since I am not a mother yet. Actually I guess I have no right saying that, but I do believe you are not any less of a mother!!!

I fear no one’s opinion! I am knowledgeable, focused, and efficient. I make this priority and build from experience. I do this for my children and myself. Supported by love, I will persevere.