Ly is ...Overweight?!

I am shocked beyond belief! Ly is overweight!

A few nights ago, Ly was telling me that I don’t look overweight anymore, which was strange, since according to my BMI and body fat percentage, I still was. He asked me if he was overweight. He’d asked me this before and I always told him he wasn’t, but this time he was asking me to check his BMI, so I did. And he was. About 10 pounds overweight! This shocked me. I asked him how long he had been this weight. He said for at least 10 years! I’ve only been overweight for 7 yet the focus on who should be losing weight has always been me. I remember reading a post from Diet Blog how women are more than likely to think they’re overweight than men, but men are more than likely to be overweight. I had thought it was because of culture. Culturally women are supposed to be smaller than men. Then I also remembered reading a study that discovered overweight African American women don’t think they’re overweight because they were comparing themselves to the people around them, whom happen to also be overweight. I think this is what had happened in our situation. Everyone is overweight. Everyone. It’s hard to tell how someone of healthy weight should look like. Although, the women in the magazines and TV are, in my opinion, underweight, somehow media has not influenced me into perceiving men a certain way. So when I see Ly, I see normal, but normal is overweight in the US! When I sat wide-eyed at the number I had written, the blood drained from head. How could I have let this go on and not do anything about it? My father-in-law has a whole host of problems that should be related to his weight, but he looks normal. So I assumed that it was from genetics. I assumed that his poor mental health contributed to it also. But now that I look at it, my father-in-law has a gut, so his weight may have also contributed to his health. And at this rate my husband may have the same fate. I suddenly felt a strong sense of failure as a wife. Others may think that the health of one’s significant other should be their responsibility, and I halfway agree. But the other half doesn’t. Now I’m thorn. Ever since that evening, Ly has been asking questions like, “Do you find me unattractive?” Well, of course not! But then he asked me to compare himself to his old self. The one I met in college. Well, heck, we all looked more attractive in college! Half of me want to tell him that it doesn’t matter (which it doesn’t), but the other half want him to be healthy and that if I answered accordingly I can motivate him to be healthy. So I stalled, and now he thinks I’m disgusted with him. Now he’s on a diet, and I feel awful! He was a fat child, and his family and other children were merciless. Did I just contribute to the damage?