Saturday, August 05, 2006

Hopes and Fears

I hope that when I loose weight, I will look beautiful to myself, my husband, and those around me. I hope to feel healthier and to have more energy. I hope to be better than the person I am jealous of because although she is thin I will be healthier. I hope to beat the odds and not become my mom. I hope to look sexier to my husband so that we can have more sex.

I fear that others will notice my weight loss and feel that I lost too much. That they will be concerned that I am depriving myself and that they will notice that I am not eating the desserts that I use to love. I’m afraid of being noticed. I’m afraid of obtaining affection from those I do not want, strangers and clients whom have a tendency to obsess. I’m afraid that I will no longer be able to eat the desserts that I love. Especially chocolate, which I often turn to when my energy is depleted. I fear that my weight loss would only be temporary and if I gained it back I would definitely be like my mom whom has yo-yo’ed diet ever since forever. I am afraid of getting hungry, because when I do I get irritable and I treat my family disrespectfully. Additionally I’m afraid that hunger will make me loose control and eat too much when I give in. Especially in front of others, making me look unflattering. I’m afraid of selling-out and becoming superficial. I’m afraid of becoming one of those prissy, feminine girls that eat like rabbits.

2 comments:

thinkoffthefat said...

Hi Lily T, Thank you for your visit and comment to my blog. I like your blog and think you are off to a great start. Congratulations for the weight loss you already have. To say you are afraid of someting is opening the door for depletion of energy and motivation. Try saying "this will not happen...." and "I can and will do....." in front of all of the sentences you blogged today. It changes the perspective. It is such a battle and we all go through it. It helps to incorporate a support system. I need to get back on the ball and move forward in the right direction. Bless you.

Lily T said...

Thank you for your comment thinkoffthefat.

You are so right about positive affirmation. I created my own weight loss mantra to motivate me.

This hopes and fears exercise I got from "KISS Guide to Weight Loss" by Barbara Ravage. Saying my fears outloud is a way for me to confront them so that when the though times come, they will not get me down.

I fear no one’s opinion! I am knowledgeable, focused, and efficient. I make this priority and build from experience. I do this for my children and myself. Supported by love, I will persevere.