Weekly and Lenten Challenge

I have started to record food intake again, starting today and ending Saturday. I’ll see how it goes. I do not have the urge to record food in-take everyday for the rest of my life. These four days will have to do for now, and we’ll see what I should do after my next weigh-in on Monday.

I’ve decided to set-up personal weekly challenges and reward myself when I meet those challenges. The recording food in-take for four days will be this week’s challenge. If I complete this challenge I will give myself 50 cents towards my weight loss fund and if I’m within calorie range for three of those days I will give myself another 50 cents. I know it has taken me a long time to mull over and finally decide on a something so simple, but simple is actually very difficult to do. I read other weight loss blogs of those whom belong to Weight Watchers, and I must say, I’m jealous that they have a reward system ingrained in their program. That they don’t have to sit there and think about what reward system would be best. Might be for the better, considering how fiercely independent and defiant I am.

Yesterday, Ly and I were talking about Lent coming up. As usual, Ly has difficulty coming up with what to give up and asked me to decide for him. I tell him, because it always makes him strangely happy since he likes to treat abstinence during Lent as a dare. The drawback, however, is that he thinks he can tell ME what I should give up. Um… I don’t think so. I was ready to say “Don’t tell me what to do!” but this year he actually came up with a good one that I would never have thought of: procrastination. Since I started abstaining for Lent it was always been a toss up between chocolate and TV. It’s high time I try something different.

Review and Resolution

Thank you everyone for continuing to check in and comment on my blog despite my MIA status. Sorry about that. I have been out of town since the day after Christmas with full intention of blogging, but never doing it. I’ve also been home since the 3rd and haven’t gotten myself to blog until today. But today is the end of my silence and hopefully you’ll be hearing me more frequently this coming year, because that so happens to be one of my weight loss resolutions: to post at least once a week. But before I get to that, I would like to review 2007 year of weight loss.

I started off that year after what I termed as “The Quarter from Hell”. Even with a month off, I was in a pessimistic, depressive slump. During that whole quarter, I promised that I would get back on the exercise/diet wagon with full vigor as soon as vacation hit, but that didn’t happen. It was more of a small crawl. Making my new year’s resolution for last year just felt like routine and I had no optimism in the process. Luckily, the quarter that followed was a more manageable load. I was able to put attention to my weight loss and actually saw it as a welcome break from school work and internship. I joined SparksPeople and was able to successfully log in my food intake for which was quite a feat, considering the year before this was something I struggled at. As I predicted, weight loss became much easier after I started recording, and I lose the weight in an almost predictable manner. However, I struggled with the whole recording process. I had difficulty gauging the calories I was consuming and obsessed over what I ate. I felt guilty for going over the recommended range of weight loss, and I didn’t like feeling guilty. During the middle of the year, I worked on letting go of the guilt with the help of intuitive eating. I continued to record but I used the numbers instead as something to reflect on. However, a drawback of letting go of guilt has been my abandonment with sweets and chocolate. Especially chocolate. Before, I was eating chocolate in moderation, but come Halloween, all of that went out the window. A part was also because of winter blues. My numbers were off the roof, and I became indifferent to them. Come December, I became tired of recording food intake and decided to take a break. It seemed pointless since seeing the outrageous amount of calories I consumed per day did not discourage me from over eating.

For the year I lost around 30 pounds! 50 pounds since my highest. And I must admit. Life without the weight is so much sweeter. I feel prettier and confident, and Ly and I are having more sex. Despite my recent spiral into over-indulgence, I conclude that this has been a successful year of weight loss. Things that I did well this year was to maintain regular exercise, record food intake, weigh-in regularly, and blog.

Things I would like to work on for this year is to control over-indulging and to stretch everyday and of course to maintain the good habits I have obtained so far. My goal for this year would be to reach my target weight and maintain.

This year feels much more optimistic than last year, but this year weight loss is not my number one resolution. There is also the trouble of finding work, which would take priority. Seeing how weight loss fits in the coming year will be interesting.

Diet Girl's Scavenger Hunt

This post is an entry to Diet Girl’s contest, which consists of a scavenger hunt to take pictures of various items. If I win, I get to own her book!

I had learned of this contest on Wednesday, but I wanted to take my time with gathering the pictures.

1. A bicycle – I just bought this bike and it has been useful in getting me excited about exercise again after my recent exercise slump.



2. A bald man – This is a picture of the gingerbread men that I baked for Hunter during my friend’s visit. Although I went hog wild on them, compared to other cookies that I enjoy, these were quite low calorie. Additionally, these were 100% whole-wheat. If I had made them with molasses as they are normally made, they would have been even more nutritious since molasses actually has nutritional value compared to most other sweeteners.

3. Elvis – This is a move that my aerobics instructor LOVES. She likes to get us to say “Huah!” when we do it. Only some do, me included. It really does get your energy up.

4. Greek yogurt – I know that taking a picture of an actual Greek yogurt wasn’t required, but I had wanted to try it out anyway.

5. A wedding dress – MY wedding dress, which my cousin-in-law will wear for her upcoming wedding. I had tried it on before we shipped it off to her, and it didn’t fit. Dang I was skinny back then!

6. The letter D – This D is on a book I’m currently reading about cooking tips.

7. The letter G – This G is on book about bike trails in my area.

My Motivational Weight Loss Story

This is my weight loss story minus all the boring stuff and focusing on what would motivate a reader. I had planned to send it to a contest but decided it wasn’t for me.

When I was younger I was energetic and enjoyed climbing and running. My energy was legendary, and my relatives continue to speak of it to this day. I remember after a day of endless play was coming to a close, I would sit on the top of the monkey bars and pretend I was on top of the world as the sunset signaled my time to go home. Even as I grew older, I enjoyed playing with children because it was a chance for me to become a child once again. Ironically, when I had my own children I was so heavy and sluggish that I no longer felt free when I played. I no longer had the urge TO play.

Throughout my young life, I was always of normal weight. Every once in a while, media bombardment and “friends” would make me feel fat, causing me to embark on an unnecessary weight loss endeavor, which always ended as my mood changed.

It was only after I married did I REALLY needed to lose weight. I was under the most stress that I’ve ever experience up to that point, causing me to eat uncontrollably. I gained weight and exceeded my husband's weight. I didn’t like being “bigger” than him, and I had wanted to reach a healthy weight so that we can have a baby. Unfortunately, wishful thinking doesn’t constitute as a weight loss plan and my weight stayed elevated. We grew impatient and decided to have a baby anyway. However, during my first pregnancy I ate terribly. At work, I had access to free chips and candy, which I frequented. Also I believed that smaller frequent meals were ideal for the baby. Unfortunately, I was never able to accomplish keeping my meals small, so they were just frequent and regular sized. My weight skyrocketed. After I gave birth and the edema wore off from the epidermal, I weighed 170 pounds. On my small 5’2” frame that kind of weight takes a toll. I developed foot problems, acid reflux, and sleeping problems. I felt depressed due to the anxiety from being a working mom for the first time, and nothing seemed to help except to work some more, hoping that I can catch up enough to finally relax. Inevitably, my reserves would run out and I found myself listless in front of the TV with a high-calorie snack. This whole time I knew I had a weight problem, and I attempted to tackle it through a series of false starts until life overwhelmed me and priorities change once again.

Then one evening, my husband confronted me with concern about my health. Normally this type of confrontation would have me running out of the room in tears, but this time was different. I found the courage to stay, and we talked. We talked all night. I told him of all my obstacles. Normally he would say that I was making excuses, but that evening (more like early morning by that point) he gave me permission to put my health as my first priority.

I know that some of you may be outraged that he was presumptuous enough to give me permission, but that was exactly what I needed, because I was unable to give myself permission.

I did it little by little. I started with developing a moderate exercise routine, and then I worked on developing a healthy diet. The weight would fall and stall and even go up a little. Every once in a while, I had to remind myself of what I promised that faithful night. That I was going to put my health first. Throughout the process, my anxiety and depression decreased. I started to feel optimistic that I can lose and keep the weight off. Most of all, I started to feel energetic again. Today I weigh 120 pounds. 5 pounds until I reach my target, but it hardly seems to matter anymore. I’m lighter, healthier, and happier.

I play with my children now, and we like to go to the park. There was one day when my 4-year-old son had me chase after him, and we ran and climbed all over that park like crazy. There was a moment, when I ran and scrambled up the jungle gym after him. He squealed with delight and made for the slide. I paused and looked around me. Below were mothers of other children, watching quietly, and I remembered being one of them, not too long ago. Not because I was uninterested, but because I was too tired. I stood there looking into my past and in awe of my moment, and I knew I made it to the life I wanted. My reverie broke because I saw that the sun was setting and there was more play needing to be done before we had to go home.

Badminton

I’ve been playing badminton with Ly. I like it for the most part, but it does get intimidating and boring at times. Intimidating when I know everyone else is better than me. I get afraid that I’m ruining their good time because of my inadequacy. Boring when Ly and I are just doing drills. This happens often because there aren’t a lot of people we can challenge, and Ly is just so much better than me that we can’t have a decent game against each other.

During drills Ly insists on “instructing” me, although I don’t remember ever asking him to do this. It’s annoying because he gives too much feedback and I get overwhelmed. Also I have no urge to improve my game. Ly, however, is on a constant quest to improve, and he assumes everyone else is also. The last time we went to play, a family walked into the facility as we parked our car. Ly pointed them out, saying that they were regulars but they don’t improve. I defended them, saying that some people play just to have fun. But that day we spent most of our time doing drills, and I wasn’t having fun. I found myself looking at the clock as Ly droned on about technique and so on, so this time I decided to listen. I have a lot of bad habits, but I was able to make some of the adjustments that he suggested. And you know what? It was kind of fun to see myself improve, so maybe I will listen to Ly more often. Maybe I can improve my game enough so that when we do play with others I won’t be the worst player.

Happy Trails

Several things I have read that helped me bring a new perspective of why I’ve been a researching maniac lately. First there was Diet Girl’s observation regarding diet books and how she buys them when she’s disillusioned and have lost faith in herself. That post came just at the right time; because I think these are the reasons why I’ve been on this researching craze, trying to find the right book to give me all the answers. I really can’t trust myself, which is why intuitive eating had failed me in the past, and at the same time this researching craze was borne out of a moment of despair, when dieting had become a drag. Then there was TrixieBelden’s comment on my last post. She was totally right. I wasn’t enjoying my weight loss journey. Time to remind myself that I do.

I enjoy the exercise that I “have to do” to lose weight. I’ve always been an outdoorsy/athletic type of girl but with responsibilities that come with adulthood, things that you enjoy become once in a while kind of things. Ever since I started this journey, exercise has become a permanent fixture in my life. Although I would occasionally feel guilty that it has taken so much of my time, I love how everyone I know will buy into it as a viable reason why it’s okay for the kids to be watched by someone else or why I don’t get as much stuff done during the day. Ly and I have had arguments of how my TV-watching, Internet-obsessing activities would take away from the house, but he never says, “You exercise too much!”

The second part of this journey, of course, involves the dieting. Hmmmm… Still trying to come to grips with that one. Just as I love to be physically active, I also love sweets. And not the low-fat/low-calorie sweets. Chocolate! And it has to be milk chocolate. Chocolate-covered nuts, chocolate chip cookies, and chocolate cake are what I enjoy the most. And there really is no substituting them (if there is I don’t know about it). I just have to figure out this moderation thing, which is going to take some more time.

What I do like about this dieting thing is that I feel it really is contributing to this feeing of well-being. I feel healthy. Even when I was playing sports in high school, I didn’t feel healthy, because I was shoveling junk in my mouth. Now, as a busy adult, I feel healthier than I ever did before. I also love how my family can benefit from all the healthy options in the house. Fruit has become the snack of choice. Sitting around, eating cherries is what we like to do. Before this journey, the produce section of the supermarket was unknown territory.

And the wonderful side effect of this journey is the weight loss! I love feeling lighter. Sports become easier (although I can no longer blame my slowness on my weight). And I love the way I look.

I have good news! According to Asian BMI standards, I am no longer overweight! I’ve been dreaming of this day for so long that when it happened I was in a state of denial. I told my cousin David about it and he said, “impossible”. And I thought that he was right. It must be some fluctuation of water and hormones. It must be that my scale is finally broken. So I checked my scale’s accuracy with two 5 lb weights, and it was not broken. So I checked my weight a couple of days after and it was still the same. I can now think of myself as a “healthy person” through and through.

I told Ly about the good news and said, “Can you believe I’ve been overweight (and obese) for 6 plus years?!” He turned to me and said, “I can.” We had a good laugh about it, because he was the one who have repeatedly stuck his neck out to tell me what no one else would, that I needed to lose weight. Each time ended with me in tears. It was July 18th last year when he finally confronted me and it didn’t end with tears. When I decided to stop crying and start getting busy. Now, close to a year later, I did it.

The Bet Continues (Without Me)

Thank you everyone for your comments on the last post. They really helped me from making a terrible mistake. Right away I left a message on David’s voice mail to tell him I was out.

He came over the other day during my working out. I felt uncomfortable, since I hate exercising in front of other people. But he started talking to me about the bet and weight loss, and I really got into it. He told me that everyone participating in the bet has gained one or two pounds except for us: him who has lost 4 lbs and me whom has lost one. Despite this information my decision to keep out of the bet still stands, because the chances are still great that I end up in last place. Everyone in the bet, except for David and myself, has just started to exercise and they all chose the most intense form, running. The weight they gained could very well be muscle gain, so the others still have a chance to win.

But still it was nice to talk about weight loss, which has become my favorite topic.

A Fool's Bet?

I’m a bit unsure about the bet I decided to participate in. Ly was offered the same bet but he declined. I asked him why. He says that it was a “fool’s bet” for him, since he doesn’t think he can lose more than 5 lbs. But if it were a fool’s bet for him then wouldn’t it be a fool’s bet for me, since we are relatively the same height and weight?

Additionally, the possible loses are great and the gains are very little. Ly went out with some of the guys of the bet, and Forrest, the most motivated one, announced that if he won he would choose a place where we would have to dress up. OMG! I can stand to lose 300 dollars on this bet!

Here are the participants:

David: 26-year-old male. He has excellent motivation to go to the gym and workout like crazy, but he has very little willpower regarding sweets.

Forrest: 28-year-old male. He’s crazy competitive and tremendously motivated in everything he puts his mind into, but he’s also a lot more fit than he thinks.

Marco: 27-year-old male. He doesn’t seem very invested in winning the bet, but he’s the most discipline with eating right.

Cody: 27-year-old male. He has the most to lose and has just started exercising and trying to lose weight! Ly believes that he would most likely win it all.

Jackie: 27-year-old female. She’s a little bit chubbier than me, but she doesn’t seem very willing to put too much time into losing weight.

Lily: 32-year-old female. Me! Unlike everyone else, I’ve been at my current weight loss effort since February. I feel like a seasoned veteran, but my weight loss has slowed down a great deal at the moment. And what I have noticed is that the weight comes off the fastest in the beginning. Additionally, I am quite a bit older than the other participants so my metabolism will naturally be lower. On top of that, most of the other participants are male and I have noticed that they tend to lose weight faster than females.

As you can see the odds are stacked against me. So what should I do? Should I stay for the extra motivation or should I bail out to prevent loss of money?

The Bet

My cousin asked me if I would like to participate in a weight loss bet with the rest of the cousins. Apparently they were sitting around complaining about having to go to the gym, when they came up with a way to motivate themselves. After 6 weeks, the one who loses the most percentage of body weight gets to pick where ever they would like to eat. The one who loses the least has to pay for half the bill and the rest would have to pay for the second half. I know. It’s strange to have food as an incentive to lose weight, but this is what we do anyways. The real incentive would be to not pay when we do. I told him that I was in. I’ve been on a major plateau for over a month and maybe this will get my butt in gear. And maybe it’ll also keep me from overeating during family get-togethers.

Doubt

Lately parties are guaranteed diet failures. I know that social functions are challenging for everyone, but it hasn’t always been that way for me. In the beginning of my weight loss efforts I was actually “good” most of the time. Lately, I’ve been falling victim to the “social munchies”. This weekend, it dawned on me what part of the problem could be. While I was with a group of family standing around the food, everyone was happily munching away while I steadily tried to ignore the food that I wasn’t hungry for nor really craved. My cousin complimented me on my weight loss, and then his girlfriend asked if I had to give up on certain foods. My sister Jen quickly said, “No. Not that I have seen.” This made me feel good, because it indicated that everything was the same. That I was still that crazy sister/cousin with the sweet tooth and the snack attacks. But then I realized that it wasn’t the same, because I wasn’t munching with the rest of them. So I dipped a tortilla chip in the salsa bowl and didn’t stop munching until it was time to go. I’m fighting with change.

Between that and home remodeling, I was eating close to 2400 calories a day! Which is no wonder I only lost 1 lb last month. In the past, I would make myself feel better by saying that I must be eating close to my maintenance calories, but I never really know what they were. I finally searched for an on-line calculator (I know I shouldn’t trust these things, but I’m so lazy lately), and it turned out that to maintain my current weight I only needed 1773 calories a day. This surprised me, since I had always imagined that the calories to maintain my goal weight would be around this number. I calculated it so there wouldn’t be any surprises when I reach that point. Only 1688 calories.

I know I shouldn’t be thinking this way, but I thought that the misery of dieting was only temporary. That when I start maintaining there’ll be so much calories that I wouldn’t know what to do with it. Once I used the word “diet” and someone corrected me and said “lifestyle change”. But “lifestyle change” would indicate that I would be eating at a deficit for the rest of my life! Although I don’t mind maintaining my “good habits” well into maintenance, I still liked to daydream of all the calories I can have once I get there. Calculating my maintenance calories at goal weight had shattered that dream. It really isn’t that much more than I’m eating now. Well, no matter. I simply have to start thinking like everyone else. That this will last forever. And one way to make it more acceptable for me psychologically is to stop starving myself for the sake of staying within the calorie range. Only that would require me to limit more of the foods I love. But is it really possible to do that forever when my tendency to overeat is so overpowering?! I then ran across a blog of a lady whom lost 100 lbs to only gain it back again plus 5, because her life became stressful. Last time my life became stressful, all the weight I lost also came back. What happens when my life inevitably becomes stressful again?

Although, I may be sounding disillusioned, I have recently gained some motivation back. I started weekly challenges in the forum I’m participating at and bought some motivational postcards to mail out as raffle prizes for those whom completed the challenges. It’s something new and I seem to have become obsessed with it, which has helped my motivation in the past. But I still wanted to sound off on my doubt, which is still there in the back of my mind. Because once the shine of this new toy wears off, it’s going to become larger than life.

Jonestown Incident

Friday night, we returned home late when we started to watch a really good documentary about the Jonestown incident. Although it was really good, the images and implications kept me awake most of the night. I woke up early the next day, and I was truly dysfunctional. We painted this weekend, so our house was in utter chaos. In addition, we spent two nights at my parents’ house because of the chaos and paint fumes. It was disorienting for the kids and myself, and needless to say my sleep continued to suffer. Then every evening since then, Ly has been dragging myself and the kids to different places to get new window treatments, keeping us awake longer than usual. It is only this morning when I finally felt well rested. But because of everything, I have lost the urge to eat right and record it. And even though, I have no real cravings at the moment, I’ve been eating way over in calories. It’s depressing but understandable.

Since the Jonestown incident (not the actual one, but the one when I stayed up all night because I couldn’t stop thinking about the documentary incident), I have decided to reintroduce not watching TV or be on the computer one hour before bedtime.

My Search for Help

I’m very much a loner and would never have thought of reaching out to others. It was when I was studying the benefits of individual and group therapy did I wonder if I was at a disadvantaged because I didn’t reach out, especially regarding weight loss. That was when I decided to see various people about my problem (before then I had relied solely on books). First I tried Weight Loss Buddy. I partnered with someone to support and in turn be supported by via email. Well, my weight loss body started emailing me those mass emails, which I hated. But I had a hard time communicating this, so instead I canceled my email account. My second attempt was with the nutritionist at the school. I met with her a couple of times and she re-introduced me to the food pyramid. I lost quite a bit of weight but couldn’t lose anymore. Although I learned to eat my fruits and vegetables, I didn’t learn to cut down on fat. Then I tried the support groups, Overeaters Anonymous (OA), Weight Watchers (WW), and TOPS. All three, I had ran away from as if there was a contagious disease in the room. I went to two OA meetings, which was enough for me to say it wasn’t for me. The tone of the meeting was spiritual, which I find I am not so much, and the meeting lasted forever. TOPS meeting was also too long for my taste, and the meeting place had a strong smell of tobacco smoke, which I didn’t care for. Needless to say I didn’t return after the first one. Then there was WW. I liked the shortness of the meeting, but I didn’t like how commercial it was. All along the walls were items for sale. And I didn’t like the points system. One meeting was enough for me.

Then I tried blogging, which I’m still doing today. All three of the support groups that I sampled were quite large that I never had a chance to share my story. Even if I had stayed there for a year, I felt I wouldn’t have a chance to speak. Blogging, I found my soapbox and I found wonderful support and feedback from my readers (Thank you readers!).

Lastly there’s Spark People (SP). With SP, I was able to keep track of my calories (something which I have struggled with in the past). Also, I was able to meet tons of people quickly. With blogging, searching for active blogs to read was quite challenging. Also with SP, I met someone whom I really would like to see be successful, which have changed my perspective of the weight loss community. In the past, I saw the weight loss community as a group to share my struggles with. Now I see it as a group I would like to support and encourage.

When I was interning at the hospice, a chaplain had said, “What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What matters in this life is helping others win.” I found this to be true with my weight loss journey. When it was only for myself, I lost motivation quickly. Now that I also do this with the hope of encouraging others, I haven’t lost motivation since.

Made a Few Changes

The first one is that I’m no longer weighing every day. I just fell out of it, since I get bouts of laziness. And it was a lot of trouble. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I can read my scale without having to drag it into good lighting, zooming in on it with my digital camera, and taking several pictures (because the first ones are always blurry). My husband had bought the scale when I had just given birth to my daughter, so that I can kick-start my weight loss efforts as soon as possible. Now I know to never to ask him to buy anything for me again. He never takes thought on what he’s buying, always opting to get the cheapest or most readily available one. Needless to say, I hate it. But I’m not going to buy a new one, until I have enough award money for a new one. The one I have is troublesome, but it works. However, when I do get a new scale, I think once a day is still too much. Maybe twice a week would be good.

Another major change is with my award system. In the past I would award myself by weight milestone. I had wanted little incentives and large ones, but the only large incentives I could think of were weight milestone. I never liked it, because for one I get a big enough high from seeing the number that I don’t think I need anything else to keep my motivation going. For another, weight milestones seemed to be so far and few between. Then I read a blog post talking about weight versus time milestones. The blogger awarded her self every 100 days she’s actively trying to lose weight. I like it. So that will be my new big incentive. Tomorrow will be my 100th day since I started weighing myself, so I decided that the award I would have given myself for my 134-lb milestone will be my 100th day award. I’m also tweaking my little incentives a little, but the differences are nothing worthy to mention and I think I might still want to do some more tweaking.

The Buffet Strikes Again

This is my last week at my internship. Also it was my supervisor’s last week on the team. So we, along with one of the chaplains, went out to eat Indian Buffet. I totally didn’t feel like putting the effort into figuring out what everything was. Also the chaplain made me feel nervous, so I didn’t bother recording what I ate. I didn’t even bother figuring out if I was full or not. I just ate and ate while my supervisor and the chaplain talked. I went over today, but I can’t tell you what I would have done differently. I didn’t feel like I overate. Maybe I should have stopped eating the naan when I discovered it was burnt. Maybe I should have passed on the Chinese pastry that was offered at the meeting.

I think my motivation to record what I eat is dwindling. It could be because I’m so tired.

Milestone and Vanity

I have finally reached my 134 lbs milestone! If I can keep this up for a week, I will gift myself an indoor rock climbing session with my husband. We’re always talking about doing it, but my husband can’t justify the cost of it. Now he can.

It’s strange, but I’m having a hard time justifying giving myself prizes for my milestones. I seem to be okay with paying myself for counting calories because in the past I have struggled with it. But when I reach a milestone, I swell up with so much pride that I don’t think I need a prize to keep me going.

Speaking of pride, I think mine may have gotten out of hand of late. I really have to watch myself, because when I lost the weight right before school, I think I was straight up vain! When I started my internship it was with 3 other interns, all of them seemed heavier than me. Although I didn’t say anything to them to make them think I was better than them, I was thinking it! I thought, “Why don’t they just lose weight? It’s so easy.” How could I have thought that? Just because I had lost weight by all means it was not easy! As punishment, I gained those 10 lbs back.

I also got advice-y when I leave comments on other blogs as if I was an expert because I lost 10 lbs! Well I’m no expert. In fact, recently things that I have thought were weight loss truths, I have found out to be…wrong. Yes, my dear readers, I was wrong. Although it shouldn’t come as a surprise to my long time readers, because when I was still learning about this weight loss stuff, I was making a lot of mistakes and they were kind enough to set me straight. And here I am thinking that the learning has ended. Nope.

For one, it finally dawned on me what BMR truly meant. I had assumed it meant the calories needed to maintain your current weight, but when my sister asked me I had realized that this definition was wrong. I had went educational on my sister, which meant I told her what the acronym stood for. I majored in biology for undergrad and somehow I had stored that BMR stood for basal metabolic rate. But as I said this, another undergrad knowledge jumped up. When I was learning it, it had meant the calories needed for normal functioning. I looked it up and my undergrad self was right. Therefore the soon-to-be-graduate self was wrong. Is it possible for me to be getting dumber?

I had posted using the wrong definition of BMR and I wondered why no one set me straight. I looked back on the post and realized that someone did. But I mustn’t have heard her. Well at the time I was thoroughly confused by all the numbers I had to deal with. I think I was much more focused on getting the numbers right. Sorry Kimberly.

Another thing that dawned on me was that fat burning zone is not the most ideal zone to be working out at. This is what Spark People had to say about that:

The "fat burning zone" business is very misleading. It’s true that low intensity exercise uses more fat as fuel and that moderate intensity exercise (that you can maintain for 20 minutes or more) burns both fat and glucose. But, you're better off exercising in the aerobic zone as much as you can, because exercising at this higher intensity burns more total calories. You will burn a larger percentage of fat in relation to glucose when you are working at a lower intensity, but you will also burn fewer total calories and less total fat. The relative percentage of fat burned has nothing to do with weight loss—it's the total amount calories burned that counts.

Charlene from my workout DVD had repeatedly told me this, but I wasn’t hearing her. I guess I needed to read it.

These are proofs that I am no weight loss guru. So I really need to keep my pride in check, so that I can be open to what people say. So that I don't mislead anyone. So that I don't make anyone think they are any less than me.

My Award System

Each day I will pay myself money, depending on how many days I was able to stay within my calorie range in the last 10 days, including the day of.
<8 out of 10 days $0.00
8 out of 10 days $0.50
9 out of 10 days $0.75
10 out of 10 days $1.00

Each 10 days I stay within my recommended calorie, fat, carbohydrate, and protein range I give myself a dollar.

Each time I turn down food despite peer pressure, I will pay myself $1.00

At the end of the month I will use the money to buy myself a weight loss related prize. If I didn’t earn any money, but I tracked food for 80% of the month, I will still award myself a prize that I do not pay for.

I will award myself every 100 days I am actively trying to lose weight (weighing myself weekly and recording intake).

Sports Watch

Yes! I did it! I recorded my calorie intake for a whole month! Today’s the first of the month, and as promised I will gift myself a prize for maintaining within my calorie range. For the month of March, I got myself a sports watch battery.

“Sports watch battery? What about the watch?” you may be asking me.

Let me explain…

Two years ago my husband received a sports watch from my sisters as a Christmas present. They bought it on sale from Sportsmart (a discount sports store), and no wonder. It didn’t work. Since it was bought on sale from a discount store, we couldn’t exchange it for one that did work. My husband and I concluded that the watch’s batteries were either dead or the watch had mechanical issues. There was a warranty, but we didn’t know if the reason it didn’t work was because of a dead battery, something that the warranty did not cover. If we had mailed it in, we would have lost money on shipping charges. I suggested that we buy a battery, but he didn’t like the idea of wasting money on a battery that might not work, if the problem was the watch itself. Additionally, my husband didn’t even like how the watch looked. He believed that it looked too feminine and preferred to not invest time or money on it. So the watch was given to me, but I couldn’t justify spending the $10 on a battery when my husband believed it was a bad idea. If I bought a battery and it didn’t work, I would get gruff about it for a long time (my husband’s a cheapskate). So there it stayed, useless in the top drawer of my dresser.

Then, last week, I finally decided to buy a battery for it. I decided to use the money I would earn through this reward system that I set up. I can do whatever I want with that money. If I decided to take that money and throw it out the window, it would be okay. So if my husband gives me any gruff, I can say that the money I spent on it was reward money and he wouldn’t be able to say anything after that.

Lucky for us all, it worked! and I get a new sports watch!

I totally adore it! Not only does it tell time, but it tells the date, has a stopwatch, has a daily alarm, has hourly chime, is water resistant up to 300 ft, and has night vision backlight. Nice. I tried it on for the first time today. I used it to time my jog and to remind me to take my meds before lunch and dinner. I also plan to use it to time my laps when I swim. I posted a picture of it up here. According to epinions.com, it could have cost somewhere between $40-80! So it was a bargain at $10.

Badminton, Indian Buffet, and Awards Earned

Last weekend I played badminton with my hubby. I didn’t even play for the whole time, and I ended up being sore for three days after! It was fun, though. The type of exercise that you look forward to. I plan to play badminton whenever my husband’s guy friends drop out and whenever my mom can take care of the kids. We’ll be playing again tomorrow.

On Tuesday, my supervisor took me out to an Indian buffet. I knew a week ahead of time, so I researched it on the Internet then took the notes with me. Indian food is truly a mystery to me, and I didn’t want to make any mistakes. Although, I felt like I was cheating on a test, pulling the notes out whenever my supervisor was distracted with the phone or whenever she went to the buffet. My supervisor, however, caught me taking notes. She must think I’m really weird. In the end, I went over my calorie range, but it was all so worth it. If there’s any consolation, I think I only ate the vegetarian dishes. Which is good for the environment. Right?

On other news… I have added an “Awards Earned” on my side bar. I will earn money the more days I stay within my calorie range. Then the first of the month, I can use that cash to buy a weight-loss related reward for myself. Even if I earn no money, I will still give myself an award for keeping track of what I eat, albeit it’s worth should not cost any money. I’ve set up an award system before which didn’t pan out. Hopefully it will work out this time.

The Great Outdoors

I went biking with my sister again! I love it! I love being outside.

My husband and I are planning to move sometime in the future. We had wanted to move last year but chickened out. We were looking to move either between my parents’ and his parents’ house or in-land where house prices are cheaper, schools are better, and weather’s crapper. My husband recently discovered that homes inland were decreasing and asked me if I wanted to move there. I told him that I wasn’t too thrilled with the weather aspect. He reassured me that air-conditioning would make it bearable, but I told him I was spoiled by the pleasant weather near the bay were I can go outside on a whim and be reassured I be comfortable. He looked at me as if I was crazy and said, “You hardly go outside anyways!” I was shocked by his lack of knowledge of me. Don’t I go walking around the neighborhood and know the activities of the children going to and from school? Don’t I take my kids to the park every chance I get? Don’t I force him to go with me hiking? I think he was confusing me with himself who abhors low-technology environments. The matter of fact is, I totally love the outdoors. The number one reason I chose my undergrad college was its remote location in the wooded mountains. We met in that undergrad college and I have memories of how miserable he was, so I try not to subject him too much to the things I enjoy. Kind of like how other women don’t force their husband to go shopping with them. Unfortunately for him, I’ll be finishing with school and will have more time to force him to enjoy the outdoors.

Long-Term Weight Loss

I wondered if long-term weight loss was impossible as I ride on this roller coaster that is my weight loss journey. As I deprive myself of foods that I love and as I sacrifice time that I need, I have this shadow of doubt in my mind that it’s all worth it. And maybe even detrimental towards really losing weight. So I did a search on the Net and I found this study written by R. R. Wing and S. Phelan (2005). It said that 20% succeed in keeping the weight of for at least a year and that the longer you keep it off the easier it gets.

So there is gold at the end of the rainbow.