The Busyness

I’ve been busy, and I’m hoping that this will be the start of some non-busy/hectic time. Ly has just finished the bathroom and although he was anxious to start another project he agreed to hold off until spring for my sake. There’s only so much chaos I can handle at a time. Teresa’s big birthday celebration has pass so there’ll be more downtime until Christmas. No, I’m not stressing about Thanksgiving. As long as our house is too small, I do not foresee hosting such an ambitious occasion. And if I were to do so, I’m sure my mother-in-law will joyfully cook everything for us.

The week of October 21 to 27th I took up a challenge with Ms. Kelly to exercise five times. Sadly, I was one day short of completing that challenge, but I’m sure it would have been far less if I hadn’t taken it up. Here’s a rundown of that week.

Sunday: This day was the Trung’s rehearsal luncheon, and we still didn’t have a working bath. We went to my parents’ house to use their shower. I totally didn’t feel like it, but I used the opportunity exercise with Charlene Prickett: Crazy for Step DVD, knowing that opportunities to exercise in the coming week would have been slight.

Monday: This was when I had caught wind of the challenge. I called up Ly and asked him to come home early so that I can exercise with Charlene Prickett’s Low Impact, High Intensity DVD again.

Tuesday: I went to a Step and Sculpt group exercise class at my gym. I liked it, and I felt it was a perfect way to get someone to check my form as I lift weights without having to pay for a personal trainer. However, I did find the class too easy. I went to the class one other time the week before, and I discovered that I was the only one bouncing about as if I was made of energy. This time I used two risers so that I can actually get a workout. I’ve never used two risers before! I was scared that I would look overly ambitious and silly to everyone else, but I did perfectly fine. I’m feeling mighty proud of this accomplishment, remembering that I use to be like everyone else in the class, struggling with only one riser. I’m pretty sure that this wasn’t only accomplished by increased fitness. It’s a lot easier to move about with less weight.

Wednesday: This was a planned day of rest.

Thursday: I asked Ly to come home early, but we ended up arguing about who’s not putting what away. So he didn’t come early as expected. If he had the decency to tell me that he would blatantly come home late (way pass the time he would come home on a normal day) I would have tried to exercise with Teresa. Although I don’t appreciate her compulsion to grab my legs as I dance about the living room, it would have been better than not exercising. Jogging with her in the jogging stroller was out of the question because of my recent bout of plantar fasciitis. And I know that a lot of moms would tell me to exercise during her nap, but it never works out. Last week when I tried to exercise while she slept, she woke up early and wouldn’t stop whining and grabbing my leg until I lied down with her until she fully woke up. Mind you, I was in a middle of a workout so my heart rate was crazy elevated. Not a good feeling to have to lie down at that state.

Friday: I went on a field trip with Hunter’s class. Hunter’s school is actually 45 minutes away at my in-law’s city. We were back from the field trip at 1:45pm, but we were also planning to go to the school carnival at 6 pm. During this waiting time, we spent it at my in-law’s where I decided to exercise. I did 30 minutes of Shape Cardio Workout: Bikini Body All Year-Round DVD and a routine with a strength band. I felt very self-conscious and guilty that I was working out at my in-laws. I was practically speeding through the routine.

Saturday: This was Trung’s wedding day. Ly went early in the morning, since he was a groom’s man, but the kids and I weren’t expected until the western-style ceremony at 4pm. I was feeding the kids breakfast and trying to plan my day so that it would include exercise, when Ly called and announced a change of plans. They had wanted Hunter, whom was one of the ring bearers, to join the wedding early. That was also when I discovered that the rental place had given Hunter shoes that were two sizes too small. So my plans were shot, seeing as how I needed to drive all around the Bay Area, searching for shoes Hunter’s size and chasing after a wedding party that was on the move.

So there’s the week of the challenge. The week after the challenge, exercise had been abysmal. I’m not jumping on opportunities to exercise as I use to, using more and more excuses not to exercise. Not good. Just the other day, we returned from a luncheon at 3pm, but I procrastinated until 5pm to exercise when normally I would exercise as soon as I returned home. I’m tired of my workout DVDs. I’m also not planning my workout as well as I used to.

Since and because of Halloween, eating has also been abysmal. I need to stop sneaking chocolate whenever I can. It doesn’t help that I had been stressing and having difficulties finding my priorities. On the day of Teresa’s birthday party, I sat at the end of my bed with my head in my hands unable to think of what my next step should be. So, I decided to watch TV and waste time instead. Now that all of the deadline stuff has passed, I’m in this unfocused stage of wandering about, not knowing what to do next. There is still non-deadline, pressing stuff to deal with, but I’m having difficulties with figuring out a plan. My weight loss efforts seemed to also wander about with everything else, and I’m having a hard time trying to figure it’s place in my life. My buying a new scale has also fuelled the confusion. It weighs heavier than my old scale by quite a bit, so I don’t want to take it seriously.

Milestone and Vanity

I have finally reached my 134 lbs milestone! If I can keep this up for a week, I will gift myself an indoor rock climbing session with my husband. We’re always talking about doing it, but my husband can’t justify the cost of it. Now he can.

It’s strange, but I’m having a hard time justifying giving myself prizes for my milestones. I seem to be okay with paying myself for counting calories because in the past I have struggled with it. But when I reach a milestone, I swell up with so much pride that I don’t think I need a prize to keep me going.

Speaking of pride, I think mine may have gotten out of hand of late. I really have to watch myself, because when I lost the weight right before school, I think I was straight up vain! When I started my internship it was with 3 other interns, all of them seemed heavier than me. Although I didn’t say anything to them to make them think I was better than them, I was thinking it! I thought, “Why don’t they just lose weight? It’s so easy.” How could I have thought that? Just because I had lost weight by all means it was not easy! As punishment, I gained those 10 lbs back.

I also got advice-y when I leave comments on other blogs as if I was an expert because I lost 10 lbs! Well I’m no expert. In fact, recently things that I have thought were weight loss truths, I have found out to be…wrong. Yes, my dear readers, I was wrong. Although it shouldn’t come as a surprise to my long time readers, because when I was still learning about this weight loss stuff, I was making a lot of mistakes and they were kind enough to set me straight. And here I am thinking that the learning has ended. Nope.

For one, it finally dawned on me what BMR truly meant. I had assumed it meant the calories needed to maintain your current weight, but when my sister asked me I had realized that this definition was wrong. I had went educational on my sister, which meant I told her what the acronym stood for. I majored in biology for undergrad and somehow I had stored that BMR stood for basal metabolic rate. But as I said this, another undergrad knowledge jumped up. When I was learning it, it had meant the calories needed for normal functioning. I looked it up and my undergrad self was right. Therefore the soon-to-be-graduate self was wrong. Is it possible for me to be getting dumber?

I had posted using the wrong definition of BMR and I wondered why no one set me straight. I looked back on the post and realized that someone did. But I mustn’t have heard her. Well at the time I was thoroughly confused by all the numbers I had to deal with. I think I was much more focused on getting the numbers right. Sorry Kimberly.

Another thing that dawned on me was that fat burning zone is not the most ideal zone to be working out at. This is what Spark People had to say about that:

The "fat burning zone" business is very misleading. It’s true that low intensity exercise uses more fat as fuel and that moderate intensity exercise (that you can maintain for 20 minutes or more) burns both fat and glucose. But, you're better off exercising in the aerobic zone as much as you can, because exercising at this higher intensity burns more total calories. You will burn a larger percentage of fat in relation to glucose when you are working at a lower intensity, but you will also burn fewer total calories and less total fat. The relative percentage of fat burned has nothing to do with weight loss—it's the total amount calories burned that counts.

Charlene from my workout DVD had repeatedly told me this, but I wasn’t hearing her. I guess I needed to read it.

These are proofs that I am no weight loss guru. So I really need to keep my pride in check, so that I can be open to what people say. So that I don't mislead anyone. So that I don't make anyone think they are any less than me.

Chocolate

It's been a week with Spark People and I have gained a pound. I don't blame Spark People though. I'm taking it really slow. I'm not counting calories. Not yet, anyways. My last attempt is still fresh in my mind, and I have no urge in re-creating that torture. Additionally, today is Ash Wednesday. For those of you who don't observe it...It's the being of Lent. Growing up Catholic, there's an option to give up something for 40 days in addition to having no meat on Fridays. This year, I decided to give up chocolate. My addiction to it is quite sinful, and I've always had difficulty staying away from the 7 deadly sins. So in anticipation of my abstenance from chocolate, I've been eating a lot of it in the past week. You can say that my Fat Tuesday started last Tuesday and ended yesterday. But starting today, there'll be no more chocolate. Another challenge I've taken on this year is that I'm going to try to be non-chalant about it. So if someone offers me a chocolate cake, I'm not going to say "I gave it up for Lent", I'm going to just say "No thank you."

Ironically, I started watching "Chocolat" over the weekend. Ly has collected a ton of DVDs that we haven't gotten around to watching them, so I've started watching them as I did the laundry. I'm going through them alphabetically, and "Chocolat" was just the next DVD. So it's really a strange coincidence that I should be watching it right before Lent. Ironcially it's about this lady who opens up a chocolate shop in an uptight, God-fearing town, right before Lent, the season of abstanence. I haven't finished watching it, but I think it's trying to say, "Live a little". I don't care for the movie. It's quite stupid and simplistic and offers no solence for a chocolate addict like myself.

Richard Simmons Super Sweatin’ Party Off the Pounds!

Today, I decided to take the kids to my parents’ house to deliver some Valentine cards, and while I was there I decided to try out the new “Richard Simmons Super Sweatin’ Party Off the Pounds!” DVD that I gave to my mom. Not surprisingly, my mom hasn’t tried it out yet. My sister, however, tried some of it and liked it, so I decided to try it out.

I liked it. I wish they made more workout DVDs to music that I like.

Additionally, although campy, Richard Simmons knows how to draw out the emotions. He knows how to get you enthused, motivated, and moved. I’m embarrassed to say this, but I was crying at parts. And crying while working out is a strange experience.

Sometimes I feel so alone in this journey towards weight loss that I can’t help but cry when I discover that I am not. And I think that’s the effect that this DVD had on me...

...or I can be PMS’ing.

Bring your body and your mind will follow.

One of my professors had said this on Monday. I said this to myself before my workout yesterday. It worked. I just have to get my body moving, get over the initial resistance, and then I start enjoying myself. Starting is the hardest part, especially since I’m feeling unmotivated lately. I’m tired of the same exercise DVD/videos, but money is scarce so I don’t want to buy more. My alternative forms of exercise are biking, jogging, and walking, but each has their drawbacks and obstacles. Biking. I don’t own a bike, so I only can bike when I can borrow from my sister, then I have to figure out who will take care of the kiddies. Walking is easiest to do. I use to do a lot of it, but I tend to slack off and go below my target heart rate range. In addition, it takes longer to burn calories to do this form of exercise, because it’s so low intensity. Jogging is the most effective and efficient, but my history of plantar fasciitis has made me wary of it, so I only do it on occasion. I’ve been thinking about rejoining Baby Bootcamp, an interval aerobics/weight training class done outside with a stroller. My friend just had a baby, and his wife called expressing her interest in it. I use to do Baby Bootcamp, but when Teresa turned 6 months old, she became inconsolable when the ladies looked at her, so I stopped. When I did, I discovered that I could do Baby Bootcamp by myself. Now I wonder if I should return. Teresa is braver now and exercising with others is always motivating. I just don’t know if I can come to grips with the cost of it…

Hmmm....Maybe I'll just continue to play mind games for motivation. Here are others I say to myself…

Exercise is great for stress management
Exercise will give me energy so I can do more chores and play with the kids
Exercise will make me happy
Exericse is the wonder drug
Strength training will make me strong so I can carry the kids longer
Strength training will improve my posture
Just do it
No excuses! (except when very sick or injured)

Richard Simmons and My Mom

Don't get me wrong. I totally love my mom, but I also think she's the most annoying person in the world. Growing up, she pushed on me the values of good looks and staying thin, which I always thought were too important to her. Her superficiality made me nauseous. Growing up, I remembered the random acts she embarked in to achieve these goals. Her all time favourite workout tape is "Richard Simmons' Sweating to the Oldies". Today, I went to my parents' house so that she can watch the kids while I exercised. I decided to use this tape. I have nothing against Richard Simmons. Actually, I think he's wonderful, considering how he inspires others to workout and eat right. But when I was working out to my mom's tape, I felt like I was selling myself out. I felt like I was trying to emulate my mom whom I am disgusted with. This made me not want to work out as hard. Made me self-conscious as to who was watching me. Made me bad mouth the tape, so I wouldn't be like my mom whom absolutely adored it. When I finished my workout, I let out a sigh of relief. It's over. I no longer have to be my mom. I decided to never workout with this tape ever again. What is it about mothers that they evoke such strong emotions?