Hurtful Comments

Why does the most unintelligent stuff come from Anonymous? On my badminton post, I received a very hurtful and upsetting comment. I then proceeded to eat two sticky buns in front of the TV, pushing my daily calories to 2700. This made me feel angry with myself, because I had let some comment get the best of me. When I told Ly he said, “You’re blaming this guy for eating the sticky buns.”

Next time I get an upsetting comment, remind me not to go to Ly, because I will just get more upset and into an unproductive depression.

This morning, after sleep helped me get over my funk, I am able to digest the comments made, Anonymous’ and Ly’s. Yes, folks, I listen to all your comments and I always try to learn from them no matter how unsettling. Because I believe that I can always learn.

First, I try to identify why the comments are unsettling. Well for Anonymous, s/he obviously just didn’t like me and I was probably bummed about this. I’m over it now.

Second, I look into what message the commenter was trying to convey, which was that I should stop playing team sports, since my inadequate skills ruin everyone else’s fun. I do have a fear of this, but often I get over these feelings, so that I can have fun (because I’m selfish like that ;P). I firmly believe that I have the right to be on the court as everyone else. It’s true that I don’t have as much fun when the person/people I play against are far worst or better than me, but Anonymous specifically told me to stop playing “team sports”. I can only assume that this person doesn’t like having and gets annoyed by an inadequate partner, which I feel is very un-team-player-like. So, ironically, I would have to say that Anonymous has less business on a team than I do. Participating in most team sports, my skill level has actually been somewhere in the middle. However, I get annoyed when the inadequacy of one team member annoys another, because it always means we will lose. The negativity creates a pessimistic mood among the team. Not only will the targeted player play worst but also all the other players follow suit. In my experience an inclusive team that forgives is more likely to pull away from losing.

There will always be a worst player, and I am quite proud of myself for being that one at badminton. I’ve seen many worst players fall away from sport because of the arrogance they are subjected to, which I always felt was a shame. Sports are fun, and these people are forever kept out of the fun. If the worst player continues to fall out of it, then in the end there will only be one and no way of playing. Fortunately there are some who ignores the arrogance and stick to it.

My conclusion? I have decided to dismiss Anonymous’ comment as just plain stupidity. Beyond the hurtfulness the brain is dead.

I have to be especially careful with feedback from unknown sources, because I have no idea what their background is. At the end of this person’s comment, s/he wondered why Ly keeps hanging out with me. This statement was obviously made specifically to hurt, and in my experience, these types of comments are often plagued by nonsense. I just wished I were able to dismiss it before I let it get me down.

As for Ly’s comment, I was unsettled because he was right. I was blaming the blog comment for me eating the buns, but I had wanted it to be so at the moment. Because if I didn't I would had blamed myself totally, and who knows what I would have done in the state I was in. Now that the feeling has subsided, I now can take full credit for my actions without serious emotional unstableness.

As you may know, I’m trying to work on this blame thing and I have no idea how to go about it. What do you do when you get these strong emotions? Don’t you want to identify how these emotions came to be? I know I do. Since I’m an analytical person, I like to do it right away. Unfortunately, conclusions made in the heat of the moment causes me to do stupid things. Although I feel that my analytical trait is useful in the long run, I should probably stabilized my emotions first.