Sunday, February 25, 2007

Fate and Five Pancakes

It’s my cousin’s birthday and everyone -- my sisters, my cousins, friends of the family, and my husband – went out clubbing yesterday. My husband went instead of me because he was closer to my cousin than I was, and someone had to stay home with the kids. I was glad because I don’t like going out so late. Never the less I felt like Cinderella when she didn’t get to go to the ball. As if to make up for yesterday my sisters and Ly encouraged me to go out to eat at a pancake house with them. I had hesitation. For one I had breakfast at 10am and I wasn’t hungry at 12noon when they had invited me to join them. For another I had a large paper that I should be working on. But I decided to go anyways. I felt like I’m losing touch with my cousins and that I should maybe make more of an effort, but at the restaurant I ended up sitting at the far end of the table away from my cousins next to my sister’s friend whom I didn’t like. Luckily my kids and her kids were between us, but I couldn’t help feel like I had just wasted my time. I leaned towards Ly and I told him that I still wasn’t hungry. He told me that his meal came with three pancakes, so I thought he meant to let me have one pancake and the kids have one each. I told him which pancake I had wanted, but when the waiter turned to me to take my order, Ly looked at me expectedly as if I was to order my own meal. Taken by surprise I told him which pancakes I wanted. But to order pancakes by themselves were FIVE pancakes! I was so angry. I wanted to yell at Ly for convincing me to come and for making me believe that we were going to share a meal. But I also knew it wasn’t his fault that I ended up wasting my time and eating too much pancakes. Even when I only ate 2-1/2 pancakes it was too much (it seemed like a waste to eat less than that). Looking back I couldn’t think of how I could have made the right decisions with what I knew then. So it wasn’t really my fault either. Fate was against me. Fate and five pancakes.
…At least they tasted good.

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I fear no one’s opinion! I am knowledgeable, focused, and efficient. I make this priority and build from experience. I do this for my children and myself. Supported by love, I will persevere.