Hopes and Fears

I hope that when I loose weight, I will look beautiful to myself, my husband, and those around me. I hope to feel healthier and to have more energy. I hope to be better than the person I am jealous of because although she is thin I will be healthier. I hope to beat the odds and not become my mom. I hope to look sexier to my husband so that we can have more sex.

I fear that others will notice my weight loss and feel that I lost too much. That they will be concerned that I am depriving myself and that they will notice that I am not eating the desserts that I use to love. I’m afraid of being noticed. I’m afraid of obtaining affection from those I do not want, strangers and clients whom have a tendency to obsess. I’m afraid that I will no longer be able to eat the desserts that I love. Especially chocolate, which I often turn to when my energy is depleted. I fear that my weight loss would only be temporary and if I gained it back I would definitely be like my mom whom has yo-yo’ed diet ever since forever. I am afraid of getting hungry, because when I do I get irritable and I treat my family disrespectfully. Additionally I’m afraid that hunger will make me loose control and eat too much when I give in. Especially in front of others, making me look unflattering. I’m afraid of selling-out and becoming superficial. I’m afraid of becoming one of those prissy, feminine girls that eat like rabbits.